Joy is up to you

I was reading once again the beginning of  "Ask and it is Given" by Esther and Jerry Hicks where Abraham says: "Be that confident, joyful, always looking for something else wonderful to turn your attention to person." I thought I  want to be that person.


As I pondered more on this phrase these thoughts came to me: Joy is in every day. Joy in in every moment.  Feel the joy, see the good, look for the silver lining. Expect the good, expect the best, live in joy.



We are the ones who chose to live in joy or not. We do so with our thoughts, with what we focus on and give our attention to. You may say that joy is not under our control because circumstances may rob us of our joy. I believe that although we may face challenges, we may face sorrow or pain, joy is still available to us. How? By being aware in each moment what brings us joy.


I remember several weeks back being in the hospice center while my mother lay near death. I was making espresso in the small kitchen they have for the families. The social worker came in and we chatted for a bit. She asked me how I was doing and I said okay. Then she asked me how I coped and I told her, "By focusing on the good things in my life, no matter how small they may be. The smell of the espresso brewing this very minute brings me enjoyment and I can savor it for this moment, then go back to my mom's room,"


I allowed myself to enjoy that momentary respite from the sadness that permeated my life. I took comfort in that moment in time. I refused to allow dire circumstances to rob me completely of  my joy.

I encourage you to reach for the joy in your every day. No matter where you are, no matter what the challenge, there are good things around you. Focus on them. Then look for more positive things and expand your appreciation of the good. Your joy is up to you.


Mari Mitchell Porter
Certified Life Coach
954 243-7297
http://lifecoachmari.com/

How Fear can Hinder Relationships

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” Franklin D. Roosevelt

How can fear keep us from finding that special someone?

I’ve heard people say,  "I’ll never find a good man/woman. All the people I meet are losers. I’ll be alone the rest of my life."

That type of thinking gets them exactly what they expect, meeting the wrong people for them. But how can they change this thinking.  By using logic. They must convince themselves of the truth by analyzing the facts.

 

Thought: All the people I meet are losers.

Analysis:

Are all people losers? No, of course not.

Why do I meet only losers? Well, they’re not all losers, some I just don’t like or didn’t hit it off with.

What is the truth? I’ve been meeting people who I don’t like or just didn’t hit It off with. Some were nice, some weren’t, none were right for me.

Why is that? I guess I haven’t met the right person yet.

What can you do about it? Go out and meet more people.

 

Now, this person can create a new belief:  “I haven’t met the right person for me yet, but as I continue to date and meet more people that I will find the right one.”

This turns the fear which is actually: “I’ll be alone the rest of my life” into hope “As I continue to date I will find the right one.”

The easy part is to use the logic, the harder part is to re-train your thinking, This is done with practice. Every time you think: “I’ll be alone for the rest of my life.” You acknowledge the negative thought then immediately turn it into the positive thought: “As I continue to date, I will find the right one.”

You can use this method with any negative self-talk you want to eliminate. 

Mari Mitchell Porter
Certified Life Coach
http://lifecoachmari.com/
mari@lifecoachmari.com

54 Mother’s Days – A Tribute to my Mom

54 Mother’s Days.

That’s the number of mother’s days I celebrated with my mom.

Of course, the first few years I was just a baby so I don’t even remember, but I was there and I know I was loved.

My mom and dad were married for ten years before she conceived for the first time. They had virtually given up the hope of having babies. Then I was born.

Joy and love. Those were my reception into this world.

My mom is gone now, tomorrow will be a mere two weeks since she left to a better place. Although I mourn I do not despair. I am thankful for all those mother’s days I can remember.

As a child I would save up what coins I could to buy something “special”. I remember one year I bought her this gaudy tall blue vase. If there was anything my mother didn’t need at the time it was another decoration. Regardless, she put it on her dresser and there it stayed year after year a small  token of my love for her and a grand one of her love for me.

As I grew older and saw the vase on her dresser I would think “That’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe she still has it there.” Then I’d smile to myself remembering how special she made me feel when she cleared off her dresser to display it there.

And now?

I miss my mother.  She won’t be with us this Mother’s Day. But, she will be with my dad and with all her loved ones who have passed. She will enjoy a mother’s day that’s “Out of this world”.  And I will be content in that. 

She deserves it.

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