Who Are You Trying Please?

My father used to say “Since you can’t please everyone, you might as well please yourself.”  I remember he and my mom would throw parties for over forty people and they always heard back negative comments about the food or drink. He had learned, the hard way, that no matter what you do, there’s always someone who complains. Even if fifty people are happy with your actions, there will still be that one you can never please. That was long before the song “Garden Party” by Ricky Nelson came out which says the same thing. Very wise advice.  However, I didn’t take it.

Like so many others, I spent much of my life being a people pleaser. The rationalization was that if I was nice, they would like me, be my friend and that would prove to the world what a good person I was.

The problem with this belief system is, when we spend so much effort doing what make others happy at the expense of what make us happy we end up with a very unsatisfying, unfulfilled and not to mention, unhappy life.

I was miserable, but VERY VERY nice. I was careful never to offend anyone by disagreeing with them, sharing my point of view or insisting we go someplace I preferred. No rocking the boat for me. I might fall out and then I’d be all alone.

As I achieved more and more personal growth, the realization came to me that I was going about things backwards. How could I bring any joy or happiness to anyone else’s life if I wasn’t happy? So, I changed my mind, deciding my happiness was the most important thing and from this joy, I would enhance the life of those around me. It worked, my life began to change for the better and now it’s filled with people I love, a career I’m passionate about and so much joy.

As we wind down to the end of 2011, I encourage you to set aside some time and think about what makes YOU happy.

1. Note two or three thing you’ve always wanted to do, but never made time for.
2. Ponder what you really enjoy doing, that you’ve put aside.
3. Notice how many things or activities you’re involved in that you don’t really ejoy at all.
4. Make a plan to purposefully go after what make you happy in 2012.

May your holidays be wonderful and filled with unending blessings.

I specialize in helping people bring the joy back into their lives. If you’d like more information please visit my website.

Mari Mitchell Porter, CPC
Certified Professional Coach
mari@lifecoachmari.com
http://lifecoachmari.com/ 

Enjoy your own Joyful Life

“We’re so busy imposing our preferences on other people, instead of just letting them be them and enjoy their life the way they want to, that we miss our own joyful life.” Abraham-Hicks

I’m still guilty of trying to tell other people what to do and how to do it. (Much less so than I used to be, but non-the-less, guilty.)

This phrase reminds me that keeping the focus on yourself is necessary for joy to flow in your life. When you spend time insisting people do things your way, you’re inviting negativity and bad feelings to come into your life. Nobody wants to be told what to do. Nobody. You are also using energy that could be spent on creating the life you want.

When you take the focus off everybody else and put it on yourself, you can truly enjoy your own life. You now have time to acknowledge how blessed you really are, how much your loved ones enhance your life and to ponder what it is you want in your life and how to work towards it.

Actions Steps

1.      Set aside some time to think about who you’re trying to push your preferences on and write their names on a list.

2.      See each one as an individual who had their own preferences that may not match your own

3.      Take each person you wrote down and list every good quality they possess.

4.      Write down every way they bring joy to your life.

5.      Decide to free yourself from telling them what to do.

6.      Keep the focus on you by asking yourself what it is you want.

7.      When you’re tempted to tell others what to do, remind yourself that they are very capable, just like you are, of handling their own life.

To kick your joy up a notch, watch this video my friend Jodi shared with me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9z2ELaBVJY&sns=em

Have a great and joyful day,

Mari

Mari Mitchell Porter, CPC
Certified Professional Coach
mari@lifecoachmari.com
http://lifecoachmari.com/

Thank Heaven for LIttle Girls (They become beautiful loving young women)

A couple of days ago I came home to find a "Surprise" on my kitchen counter. There was a beautiful poinsettia on the counter with a note from my daughter Julianne that said: "Just a reminder that I appreciate everything you do for me. I love you!" Well, it made my day. What she didn't know was that I had been wanting a poinsettia plant to put in our front entrance. We placed it by the front door and since I can see it from the kitchen window I smile and feel grateful everytime I see it from the kitchen.

Yesterday I was driving home and a Michael Buble Christmas song started playing on the radio. That reminded me that he had a new Christmas Album out and I thought to myself “It would be nice to have that new album. Maybe I’ll put it on my Christmas list.” Then I forgot about it.
Last night we were putting up the Christmas tree and in the middle of decorating my oldest daughter Christina came into the room and pulled a cd out of a bag. She had brought me the Buble CD as a stocking stuffer, but decided to give it to me last night so I could enjoy it before Christmas. She didn't even know I wanted it!

Each of these wonderful surprises sent my vibration through the roof! And it stayed there the remainder of both days.

And, when I think them today, it still fills me with joy.

I am so thankful for my wonderful daughters and I've ever grateful for all the wnderful little things that come into my life!

I hope that today you will enjoy all the little blessings in your life also.

Mari

Mari Mitchell Porter, CPC
Certified Professional Coach
954 243-7297

mari@lifecoachmari.com
http://lifecoachmari.com/