Dating advice: Changing your mindset

Most people in our society including me when I was dating, have put the focus on what you are doing, how you look, how you sound, what the opposite sex thinks of you. This is actually backwards.

The healthy way to think is: Is this person a good match for me?  Do they have the character traits I'm looking for in a mate? How do they treat me? How do they treat their family, friends, the waitress?

When we first meet someone that we are attracted to, the next step is to find out whether we want to see this person again (Go on a date). That's the ONLY next step.

Wondering whether they're "The one" is premature at that time. Even after several dates, wondering whether they're "The one" is STILL premature.This is our time to do our "Research" on this person. This is when we find out whether they're kind, loving, trustworthy, and have all the traits we require to be in relationship with them. Our only goal must be to get to know them better and to carefully observe their behavior with us and with others. When we're looking for a long term relationship, our thoughts will naturally go to: are they "The One".But we must gently put those thoughts aside and be "In the moment" enjoying our time with them and continuing our "Research". 

As we meet people, get to know them and date them we might be disappointed, rejected, discouraged. This is normal because not every person we meet is "The ONE". That's why they're called the ONE, not the MANY. 

It's important to acknowledge our disappointment, discouragement maybe even anger then realize that obviously this person was not for us and say NEXT in our mind. That frees us to go out there again and meet the next person until we find THE ONE.

When you meet people keep you focus on how YOU feel, if YOU like them, if YOU find them attractive, if YOU are enjoying the conversation with them. Don't worry about if THEY like you. If THEY approve of you, etc. This will give you a peace of mind and heart unlike anything you've ever know. By the way, you can use this mindset in any inter-personal relationships with a boss, parent, friend, even at a meeting.

Keeping the focus on YOU gives you the power, courage, strength and draws the right people to you.

Mari Mitchell Porter, CPC
Certified Professional Coach
954 243-7297

mari@lifecoachmari.com
http://lifecoachmari.com/