Simple Ways to Cut Stress

We hurry around trying to accomplish everything we’ve committed ourselves to, packing as much as possible into our schedules as we plummet through the day.  Pushing ourselves to get from place to place on time while looking professional and in control is exhausting. The stress not only shows on our face, but more importantly affects our bodies. Backaches, headaches, high blood pressure can all be symptoms of our stressful days.

“But I have no choice”, my clients tell me.  “Everyone depends on me. If I don’t do it myself it won’t get done right” That may be true. However, having too much to do and not enough time is OUR choice.

We choose to make everyone and everything else more important than our health and wellbeing by agreeing to give rides, volunteering, attending every party or function.  There is nothing wrong with helping people or volunteering. Both are admirable. However, unless we take time for doing what makes us happy we are heading for unbalance in our lives. We all have responsibilities, but running around without filling ourselves back up is like driving your car when it’s out of oil. It will run, but eventually the engine will be ruined.

Here are four simple ways to cut stress.

1. Give yourself extra time to get your destination. Trying to get as much as possible done before going out the door, leaving just enough time to get to your destination is extremely stressful.  Any delay will make you late.  Being late is nothing compared to the stress you feel on the way and how harried you feel when you arrive. I’ve started leaving 15-20 minutes earlier than necessary and find myself feeling more relaxed.

2. Cut your to-do list to 5 items. This might sound crazy, but try it for week. Pick the 5 most important things to accomplish each day and DO them. Just looking at my old to-do of 15 or more items stressed me out.  By cutting it back to 5 tasks, I get done what’s absolutely necessary and feel such a sense of accomplishment I often do several more.

3. Limit your outings or parties to one per day. I’ve been doing this for years and it really reduces your stress. When my children, husband or I are invited to more than one event per day we chose one. No more running around town trying to get to several events in one day.

4. Hone your “no”. It’s perfectly okay to say no. You can turn down invitations, say no to your children when they want to go to the store, refuse to work late, say no thanks to another committee, not volunteer for the bake sale, decline staying up later than you want.

Saying no when necessary is saying yes to you.

Limiting stress is your choice. I hope you choose balance over stress.

Mari Mitchell Porter, CPC

Certified Professional Coach

http://lifecoachmari.com/

From zero to catastrophe in 30 seconds

“Worry is using your imagination to create what you don’t want” Abraham-Hicks

From the time we were born we’ve had an imagination. As a child we used our imagination to become a princess, an astronaut, a rock star, or to turn a playground into a castle, a spaceship or a concert stage. There was no limit to what we could imagine ourselves having, doing or being.

Some adults were amused by our playacting, while others attempted to bring us “back down to earth” by sharing their opinions of the real word and the realities of life. “You’re not talented enough to be a rock star, it’s unrealistic for you to dream about being an astronaut, and princesses no longer exist.” (Tell that to Kate Middleton).

We would probably continue in our play ignoring what the adults said.

Fast forward a few years and we’re in middle school, or junior high as they called it where I came from. We still held some dreams intact, but we had begin used our imagination for WORRY. Everyone worried, our parents, our teachers, our coaches, it was necessary to be successful. We HAD to worry about assignments, reports, test scores, grades and about what everyone else thought about us.

We began using our imagination to focus on all that could possible go wrong: What if I fail the test.? What if I get a pimple the day of my date? What if no one at school likes me?

And, not only did we ask ourselves the questions, but we also created elaborate scenarios in our mind, complete with detailed dialogue about the worse that could happen in any given situation.

We went from zero to catastrophe in 30 seconds.

We still do.

Except now the stakes are higher. What if I lose my job? What if I can’t pay my rent or mortgage? What if my spouse wants a divorce? What if my business fails? What if the government stops sending me my social security check? What if I get sick? What if a hurricane comes?

That’s using our imagination to create what we don’t want.

Mark Twain said “I am a very old man and have suffered a great many misfortunes, most of which never happened.”  He was talking about using our imaginations to predict the worse for ourselves and others and of the suffering we go through because of this. He was also saying that the suffering he went through was needless. It was all in his imagination.

He was right. We suffer needlessly when we worry about things that have not occurred and may never occur in our lives. We fill our days with the habit of worry.

I call worry a habit because it can be stopped, if we want to stop it. Stopping the worry habit is very simple. I can attest to that. But, it’s not easy. It takes practice, it takes focus and it takes self-control. It takes controlling your mind and focusing it AWAY from the habit of looking for the possible problems or worst possible outcome and turning it TOWARDS the possible solutions or the best possible outcome.

Worry is destructive; because it takes away the creative energy we can be using to improve our life and replaces it with stress. And we all know what stress does to you.

Are you ready to break the worry habit?

Actions steps:

1. Pick any subject of your choice. Then think of all the possible things that could go WRONG and what the worst possible outcome could be. How do you feel after that thought pattern? Probably pretty lousy.

Pick the same subject and brainstorm all the possible things that could go right and what the BEST outcome could be. Now, how do you feel? Much better, I hope.

                                                                                                                        

2. Commit to one week of turning your thoughts away from worry and the worst possible outcome to possibilities and the best possible outcome.  Every time you begin to worry about something STOP and make a mental list or write a list of all the good possibilities or options. Then take note of how much better you feel.

3. If you’re pleased with the results after doing this for a week, commit to do the same for 30 days.

4. Be aware of any of the good results you get in your life and write them all in a small notebook.

5. Now, make a commitment to yourself to break the worry habit for good.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this. http://lifecoachmari.com/

Mari

Mari Mitchell Porter, CPC
http://lifecoachmari.com/

Me Time for Moms

As mothers we want what’s best for our children and may feel guilty when we think of taking time for ourselves. This may leave us burned out, with little to give.

I tell my clients to carve out some quiet time every day.  They roll their eyes saying they don’t have even one minute to spare. That may be true.

You look at your long list of tasks each morning intending to get everything done. By the time dinner is being cleared off the table, you’re ready to fall into bed exhausted even though there may be tasks undone. You either push past your exhaustion to do them or add them to tomorrow’s list.

I remember feeling as if I was on a merry-go-round and didn’t know how to get off.

What I found was that I needed to put gas in my engine before trying to put any into others. Do we drive our car until it’s empty of gas and then insist it continue to run?

Why would we do that to ourselves?

We must take time to refuel. Take time for appreciation, for pondering or meditation. Time for just US.

If you need to fuel your tank I suggest the following:

1. Decide where you can carve out 20 minutes a day for quiet time. This can be any time of day that suits you. For me it’s first thing in the morning before the phone starts ringing.

2. Create a place for yourself in your home where you are comfortable,relaxed and can go for your quiet time.

3. Make a commitment to yourself that you will keep that time as sacred. Forget about chores and don’t take phone calls.

4. Explain to your children or spouse about your quiet and ask them to honor it by not interrupting you. If you have babies, you could schedule the time while they nap or when someone else is home to care for them.

5. What you do during your quiet time is not as important as the fact that it nourishes you. You could write in a journal, or meditate. You may chose to read a novel or magazine. If you’re artistic, you might draw or paint. Or, you can just sit and enjoy the beauty around you. Give yourself a mental break from the responsibilities in your life so that you can refuel your ta

 I’d love to hear from those of you who tried this. Email me at mari@lifecoachmari.com

Mari
Mari Mitchell Porter, CPC
http://lifecoachmari.com/